Lifestyle Redesigned

“Some think it’s holding on that makes one strong; sometimes it’s letting go” – Unknown

I have to tell you, used to love my job.  Sure, there were some really bad days, stress, and everything else that goes along with having a job, but there were good things too.  I like the people I work with, my management supported me, my hours were flexible, the office was close to home, and I made a decent wage.  Over the last few years the good things have slowly eroded away leaving me with more bad than good.

First it was the location, the company moved from a five minute commute from home to a 45 minute to 1 hour plus drive.  That is a lot of extra time out of my day, gas expenses went up, as well as wear and tear on my vehicle.  Sure, people do that kind of commute every day, but when you had a 5 minute trip for 4 years losing 2 more hours from your day really sucks.

Second, the company started laying off people, cutting costs, and changing the culture to work more with less.  It’s great for the companies bottom line, they are still very profitable.  It’s horrible for employee moral.  It burns people out and pisses them off.  Companies abuse employees in this manner because they know they can get away with it.

Third, I still love the people I work with, but due to the culture change and added stress they are unhappy.  When everyone is unhappy it is not a fun place to work.  People are short with others for no apparent reason because they are stressed and they really don’t give it their all like they used to.  Douchbag bosses take note, the once overly productive employees that you used to have will not work as hard when you fire their friends and expect them to pick up their work for the same pay and longer hours.  So good people are leaving the company for elsewhere.

This lead us to number four, management.  A friend of mine used to say that you are one management change away from unemployment.  I got a new Vice President that hasn’t liked me from the start.  I’m not sure why as I’ve always gotten accolades, but this guy is a complete dick.  I did find out he is friends with a director at our company who I’ve had many disagreements with.  Maybe he’s finally able to enact his revenge.

Whatever the reason my day is now one of displeasure.  I hate going into the office, and avoid walking by his office at all times.  Feeling like you have a target on your back is not a good feeling.

The bottom line is I’m not happy and it is taking a hold on my health.  I have chronic insomnia, heart palpitations, gained 30 pounds yet lost my appetite, I drink a lot, and have trouble getting out of bed in the morning.  Stress and depression.  It’s a killer.

Letting Go

“A weak man has doubts before a decision. A strong man has them afterwards.”     Carl Kraus

I’ve had enough.  I can be irrational at times which doesn’t always work out in my best interest.  But I decided I have to leave this job before it killed me.  And besides, life is too short not to be happy.  I’d been saving money for a few months, but figured I need till at least June of this year before I would be ready to leave.  Then the new V.P. came on board and I new I had to kick things in high gear.

I spent a week or two feeling sorry for myself.  Then I decided – I’m out.  I made it a reality.  I booked a 2 week trip to Thailand at the middle of February.  Marked two weeks before on my calander as “independence day” and wrote my resignation letter.  I won’t turn the letter in for another month, but it felt good to right and made things real.

I don’t have another job to go to.  I’m taking a huge risk in the worst economy since the Great Depression.  I have my doubts, but I’ve made the decision and I’m not turning back now.  I need a better life.

Some people that have depression say that they want their life back.  I don’t.  I want a better life than what I had, the one I had was why I was depressed in the first place.

Now you maybe wondering why I decided to book a two week trip to Thailand when I don’t have a job and limited savings.  I need to get away, do some soul searching, and come back with a game plan.  Plus, I may not get another chance to travel for quite some time, better have a great memory to get me through the stormy waters ahead.

I though I was being the strong person by persevering through the difficulties, dealing with the stress, and hating my life for a steady paycheck.  But I realized sometime it takes a stronger person to let go, especially in times of adversity and risk.

Image: Phaitoon / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

People want to change their lives.  Not all of them, but surely enough of them.  They often know what they don’t want, but never take the time to illustrate or document the life that they really want.  If asked you’ll find that most give similar answers.  Make more money.  Work less.  Travel more.  Drive a nice car.  Lose weight.  Have a supermodel girlfriend.  They sound specific, but they are really just generalities of what they think would make them happy.  They need to dig deeper to understand and define what their dream life would really look like if they had it.

You also need to understand the meaning of what an answer like ‘make more money’ really means to you.  For some people it may mean security, others independence.  But understanding the underlying need will help you realize your goals and make them more tangible.  That makes them more attainable.

I must admit I’m not happy with my life and I aim to change it.  The problem for me is that I really didn’t know what I wanted.  When I asked my self the question I would respond with the same answers listed above.  That is until my recent trip to Pattaya Thailand.  Traveling alone gave me plenty of time to think and contemplate things.  I dug down and really looked at my life.  I saw what I didn’t want and I saw what would make me happy.  I started to formulate a plan with real goals.  Things that I could act on daily.

One of the most important things I did was to write the plan down.  It began to not only take shape, but I started to see how changing my life into the one I wanted was actually possible.  I set reasonable goals, but ones that also were a bit of a stretch.  I didn’t put down “buy a Ferrari and date a supermodel within one year.”  Those aren’t even aspirations in my mind at this point, that’s not to say I wouldn’t enjoy them if they came along.  I might have thought that type of life would have been my dream in the past, but looking deeper that’s not really what would make me happy.

Now that I have a clear set of goals and a reasonable plan to achieve them, I can start acting.  Each day I take steps towards meeting those goals.  If I have to prioritize things in a day, those actions that will help me get to the end goal go to the top of the list.  Each little step helps the feeling of accomplishment so that you can keep pushing forward.

Will I reach that life that I really want?  At this point I’m hopeful.  But I’ve let myself down before.  That’s the final piece of the puzzle.  Having the mindset to carry through.  This is the toughest part of all.  I need to break myself of the pattern of unproductive behavior and keep going down the road of activity and success.

I’m sure you’ve heard the saying ‘working for the man’ before.  It is one that I think is a bit worn out, but one that I still use from time to time, usually jokingly.  I work for someone else at my full time day job.  The pay is good and it makes it hard for me to leave.  But I know in my heart that the only man I want to work for is myself.

I don’t relish getting up and going to work on a schedule.  I savor my freedom and independence, something that you must compromise on when you work for someone else.  You have to ask for permission to do things.  May I have a day off?  Can I take two weeks vacation?  Can I work from home?  Plus they tell you how much vacation time or sick time you can have.  I enjoy traveling and the 3 weeks per year I get is not enough for me.  But I press on, for the security of the paycheck.  Which in actuality isn’t that secure.  They can fire you anytime they like.

My goal is to work for myself.  To be my own boss.  However there are some obstacles in the way that prevent me from doing this.  I have a lot of debt and monthly bills, I haven’t built up a second income, I don’t have much in savings,  and I’m not sure contracting in this job climate is worth the risk.  So I’ve come up with a plan to make this a reality.

First is tackling my debt.  My current plan should have me out of credit card debt in less than a year.  Then I plan to either trade my car in on something less luxurious, or pay it off.  That would take another year.  There isn’t much I can do about my house.  I would love to sell it and get something with a smaller monthly payment.  But I’m just about underwater in my home value at this point.  However with no car payment or credit card payments my monthly expenses will be greatly reduced.

Next is getting my second income to a point where I could lose my job and still have a good income to live off of.  This is no small task I know, but one that is achievable with some hard work.  Of course that is the hard part.  Working a full time job then coming home and working a second one is not that entertaining.  But I know it has to be done so I am going to hit it hard for the next year.  It will also allow me to pay off my debt faster and get some money in the bank.

This plan should put me in a great position by April 2012.  At which point I hope to quit my job and start working for myself.  Being the scardy-cat that I am, I’ll also look for short term contracting work in my chosen profession.  Keeping  my skills sharp in case I need to go back to that.

I look forward to working for myself.  I realize it is not for everyone, but you have to do what is right for you.  I cherish my independence and plan on getting it back.

Well I’m a little late in getting my new years resolutions for 2010 together, but at least they are finally done. I typically don’t do your standard new years resolutions, I think they are usually too general and too easy to break. Instead, I like to take a weekend and set out my goals for the year. Then I break them down into quarterly, monthly, weekly, and finally daily goals. I like to have a massive action plan to achieve my goals. It usually works for me. However the last few years I’ve been in a funk and have not set any goals for myself, and to be brutally honest I achieved next to nothing. The last two years passed by with next to no real accomplishments. This year is going to be different.

First I start off with my yearly goals. I try to break them down by groups. The groups for this year are financial, personal, health & fitness, things I want, and lifestyle. From there I brain storm how I want my life to be at the end of the year and come up with some specific goals for each. Goals that are too broad are way to easy to miss. For example ‘lose weight’ or ‘get in shape’ are too broad of goals. I want to lose 20 lbs of fat, gain 10 lbs of muscle, and be a ripped 185. I want to be in the best shape of my life. Those are specific goals. You can break them down further so you have something to achieve monthly and daily. You can put real milestones in place.

My Goals for 2010

Financial

• Make a full time income of 70K a year from my side work
• Quit my regualr job by Nov. of this year and go to contract work
• Save 10% of my salary for retirement
• Payoff all my debt / live debt free (aside from mortgage and car payment)

Personal

• Stay in better contact with friends and family (call or email once per week)
• Go out on one date per month
• Go out for happy hour/dinner/entertainment one night a month
• Get back into SCUBA (get my divemasters)
• Visit my family at least once a year

Health & Fitness

• Be in the best shape of my life by November (lose 20lbs of fat, gain 10lbs of muscle, and be a ripped 185)
• Hike at least 1 time a month
• Eat a clean and health lifestyle
• Cut down drinking alcohol – only with friends or on special occasions
• Quit Chewing tobacco

Things

• Buy a new car
• Travel to Thailand for an entire month

Lifestyle

• Always dress to impress at work
• Get a new wardrobe (after I lose the weight)
• Be well kept and stylish in my free time
• Keep a clean house (clean once every two weeks)
• Keep close cleaned and pressed (once per week)

The the nice thing about setting goals is that you can track of what you are doing to make sure you accomplish them. When you set your daily or weekly to do lists, each item should be helping you realize your goals. Your goals can also be interrelated. You can see a couple of mine, where I must accomplish one, before I can move on to the other. The other nice thing about goal setting is that the list is a living document. You scratch things off as you complete them, and can add more if time allows. You can also reflect back on them everyday and week to judge your progress. This isn’t a list to make at the begining of the year then file away never to be looked at again.

We’ll see how things go. I plan on having monthly and quarterly milestones to keep me on target. It is way to easy for the months to slip away. It is almost the end of January for crying out loud.

Put in another gruelling week of work slogging away at my computer. Nothing beats working for the man. I really love having people tell me what to do all day, and making other people really rich. Then when it comes time for your review, the scoff and sputter and complain that things are tough and all we can give you is 1% raise this year. What a load of balls. If trying to find a way to financial freedom doesn’t get you motivated in situations like this, then I don’t know what will.

I’ve come up with a plan to be free from working from someone else by this time next year. I want the freedom to live and do what I want, and not have to ask permission to take 2 or 3 measly weeks off per year. What a joke that is. Sure there are some nice benefits, but if I can make more money and have my life back I will feel so much the better.

I’d love to be able to pick up stakes and move when the summer is just too hot here in Scottsdale. Get to the mountains for a couple of weeks and cool down. Or move to Thailand or Europe for a couple of months. You just can’t do that in a standard 9 to 5 job. I don’t mind working to make money. I’ll work darn hard at it. I just hate to see all my hard work go to line the pockets of someone else. Someone who pretends like they give a crap about you, but at the first sign of financial hardship would cut you from the payroll faster than you could say pink slip.

So what is this amazing plan? Well it will be essentially taking on a full time second job for the next 6 months and working my ass off. I won’t go into the full details, but a lot of hard work and I should be in a good position by June. Then I’ll reevaluate, before I press on with the next 6 months. In the mean time at work I’m going to building on my skills and getting ready to be able to do some contract work.

My end goal is to have a contract job for 6-9 months out of the year and travel and visit family with the rest of my time. I know it can be done, and I also know it won’t be easy. But there is more to life than going to the office 5 days a week and sometimes more to eke out a living. Working your ass off during the prime of your life so that you can finally retire and enjoy life when you are old. I want that life now. And I’m going to make it happen.

I have been sleeping like a baby lately – waking up every few hours and crying. Well maybe not the crying part, but I have not been sleeping well the last week or so. The combination of stress and working out at night has kept me from getting to sleep till 2 or 3 in the morning. Then I’m so tired when I get home from work I take a nap on the couch, which only adds to my trouble of getting to sleep later, it is a vicious circle.

I’ve stopped working out for a few days to see if that will help, last night it did not. I took another nap today, but hope I can get some much needed rest tonight. When I am this tired I am useless at work, and I think it is starting to show, which is no good. I need to pick up my game and start getting things done.

I need to work a couple of weekend days to build up some comp time for my vacation at the end of the year. However if I am having this much trouble getting work done during the week, you can imagine my trouble on the weekend.

I try and clear my mind when I lay my head down to rest, which seems to be my biggest problem. I can’t seem to stop my mind from running. Plus my bed seems to be lumpier than ever these days. I think I may try reading before bed tonight and see how that goes.